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Friday, April 30th, 2010

    Time Event
    2:16a
    It was the spirit of the system under which she...
    It was the spirit of the system under which she had grown up, and she carried it out to its full extent
    Miss Ophelia, after passing on her reformatory tour through all the other parts of the establishment, now entered the kitchenDinah had heard, from various sources, what was going on, and resolved to stand on defensive and conservative ground,—mentally determined to oppose and ignore every new measure, without any actual observable contest
    The kitchen was a large brick-floored apartment, with a great old-fashioned fireplace stretching along one side of it,—an arrangement which StClare had vainly tried to persuade Dinah to exchange for the convenience of a modern cook-stoveNo Puseyite,1 or conservative of any school, was ever more inflexibly attached to time-honored inconveniences than DinahClare had first returned from the north, impressed with the system and order of his uncle’s kitchen arrangements, he had largely provided his own with an array of cupboards, drawers, and various apparatus, to induce systematic regulation, under the sanguine illusion that it would be of any possible assistance to Dinah in her arrangementsHe might as well have provided them for a squirrel or a magpieThe more drawers and closets there were, the more hiding-holes could Dinah make for the accommodation of old rags, hair-combs, old shoes, ribbons, cast-off artificial flowers, and other articles of vertu, wherein her soul delighted
    When Miss Ophelia entered the kitchen Dinah did not rise, but smoked on in sublime tranquillity, regarding her movements obliquely out of the corner of her eye, but apparently intent only on the operations around her
    Miss Ophelia commenced opening a set of drawers
    “What is this drawer for, Dinah?” she said
    “It’s handy for most anything, Missis,” said DinahFrom the variety it contained, Miss Ophelia pulled out first a fine damask table-cloth stained with blood, having evidently been used to envelop some raw meat
    “What’s this, Dinah? You don’t wrap up meat in your mistress’ best table-cloths?”
    “O Lor, Missis, no; the towels was all a missin’—so I jest did itI laid out to wash that a,—that’s why I put it thar
    “Shif’less!” said Miss Ophelia to herself, proceeding to tumble over the drawer, where she found a nutmeg-grater and two or three nutmegs, a Methodist hymn-book, a couple of soiled Madras handkerchiefs, some yarn and knitting-work, a paper of tobacco and a pipe, a few crackers, one or two gilded china-saucers with some pomade in them, one or two thin old shoes, a piece of flannel carefully pinned up enclosing some small white onions, several damask table-napkins, some coarse crash towels, some twine and darning-needles, and several broken papers, from which sundry sweet herbs were sifting into the drawer
    “Where do you keep your nutmegs, Dinah?” said Miss Ophelia, with the air of one who prayed for patience
    “Most anywhar, Missis; there’s some in that cracked tea-cup, up there, and there’s some over in that ar cupboard
    “Here are some in the grater,” said Miss Ophelia, holding them up
    “Laws, yes, I put ’em there this morning,—I likes to keep my things handy,” said Dinah“You, Jake! what are you stopping for! You’ll cotch it! Be still, thar!” she added, with a dive of her stick at the criminal
    “What’s this?” said Miss Ophelia, holding up the saucer of pomade
    “Laws, it’s my har grease;—I put it thar to have it handy
    “Do you use your mistress’ best saucers for that?”
    “Law! it was cause I was driv, and in sich a hurry;—I was gwine to change it this very day
    “Here are two damask table-napkins
    “Them table-napkins I put thar, to get ’em washed out, some day
    “Don’t you have some place here on purpose for things to be washed?”
    “Well, Mas’r StClare got dat ar chest, he said, for dat; but I likes to mix up biscuit and hev my things on it some days, and then it an’t handy a liftin’ up the lid
    “Why don’t you mix your biscuits on the pastry-table, there?”
    “Law, Missis, it gets sot so full of dishes, and one thing and another, der an’t no room, noway—”
    “But you should wash your dishes, and clear them away
    “Wash my dishes!” said Dinah, in a high key, as her wrath began to rise over her habitual respect of manner; “what does ladies know ’bout work, I want to know? When ’d Mas’r ever get his dinner, if I vas to spend all my time a washin’ and a puttin’ up dishes? Miss Marie never telled me so, nohow
    “Well, here are these onions
    “Laws, yes!” said Dinah; “thar is whar I put ’em, nowThem ’s particular onions I was a savin’ for dis yer very stewI’d forgot they was in dat ar old flannel
    Miss Ophelia lifted out the sifting papers of sweet herbs
    “I wish Missis wouldn’t touch dem arI likes to keep my things where I knows whar to go to ’em,” said Dinah, rather decidedly
    “But you don’t want these holes in the papers
    “Them ’s handy for siftin’ on ’t out,” said shop Dinah
    8:17p
    Let me get us some more food “Us?” “Do you...
    Let me get us
    some more food
    “Us?”
    “Do you really think I'm going to let you disappear? I'll follow you even if you tell me not to
    I don't want to disappear from him
    “I…” How can I not trust another human completely? We're family–both part of the
    brotherhood of extinctionI have so far to go and… Jamie is waiting
    “You're not alone,” he realizesHis expression shows uncertainty for the first timeHe's just nine, and he's so frightened when I'm awayIt will take me half the night
    to get back to himHe won't know if I've been caught” As if to make my point,
    my stomach growls loudly
    Jared's smile is back, brighter than before“Will it help if I tiffany & co. necklace give you a ride?”
    “A ride?” I echo
    “I'll make you a dealYou wait here while I gather more food, and I'll take you anywhere you
    want to go in my jeepIt's faster than running–even faster thanyou running
    “You have a car?”
    “Of courseDo you think I walked out here?”
    I think of the six hours it took me to walk here, and my forehead furrows
    “We'll be back to your brother in no time,” he promises“Don't move from this spot, okay?”
    I nod
    “And eat something, pleaseI don't want your stomach to give us away He grins, and his eyes
    crinkle up, fanning lines out of the cornersMy heart gives one hard thump, and I know I will
    wait here if it takes him louis vuitton speedy bags all night
    He is still holding my handHe lets go slowly, his eyes not leaving mineHe takes a step
    backward, then pauses
    “Please don't kick me,” he pleads, leaning forward and grabbing my chinHe kisses me again,
    and this time I feel itHis lips are softer than his hands, and hot, even in the warm desert night
    A flock of butterflies riots in my stomach and steals my breathMy hands reach for him
    instinctivelyI touch the warm skin of his cheek, the rough hair on his neckMy fingers skim
    over a line of puckered skin, a raised ridge right beneath the hairline
    I woke up covered in sweatEven before I was all the way awake, my fingers were on the bag by louis vuitton back
    of my neck, tracing the short line left from the insertionI could barely detect the faint pink
    blemish with my fingertipsThe medicines the Healer had used had done their job
    Jared's poorly healed scar had never been much of a disguise
    I flicked on the light beside my bed, waiting for my breathing to slow, veins full of adrenaline
    from the realistic dream
    A new dream, but in essence so much the same as the many others that had plagued me in the
    past months
    I could still feel the heat of Jared's lips on mineMy hands reached out without my permission,
    searching across the rumpled sheet, looking for something they did not findMy heart prada fairy ached
    when they gave up, falling to the bed limp and empty
    I blinked away the unwelcome moisture in my eyesI didn't know how much more of this I
    could standHow did anyone survive this world, with these bodies whose memories wouldn't
    stay in the past where they should? With these emotions that were so strong I couldn't tell whatI
    felt anymore?
    I was going to be exhausted tomorrow, but I felt so far from sleep that I knew it would be
    hours before I could relaxI might as well do my duty and get it over withMaybe it would help
    me take my mind off things I'd rather not think about
    I rolled off the bed and stumbled to the computer on the otherwise empty balenciaga magenta giant work

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